So the dam has broken. Now we are flooded with long pent-up anger, resentment, shame, fear, confusion, old patterns of rationalizations, betrayals, etc. Each of these brings back names of individuals, places, moments in time that lay sunk beneath the waters of public and personal denial, as well as unconsciousness.
I hesitate to add any further material to the flow of information, the bawdy revelations, the incriminating accusations, admissions, denials, confessions, careers worked away, ethics investigations, and more. So I will be brief in adding something that has repeatedly come to mind as I hear stories such as these in my consulting room. This has to do with he relationship of love and power. Carl Jung stated the matter quite precisely like this:
Where love rules, there is no rule to power; and where power predominates,
there love is lacking. (Collected Works, VII, par. 78)
Let me clarify a little. It may seem that the accusations having to do with groping, stalking, touching inappropriately, displays of nudity have little to do with "love" but a lot to do with bullying and domination in pursuit of some deviant sexual gratification. What, then, does "love" have to do with the matter?
In a fuller development of his statement, Jung clarifies his use of "love" to mean something like an intimacy based upon a mutual feeling of closeness. This "closeness" may occur in one or more of several dimensions of our life: physical, (possibly moving from a first attraction to the consummation of intercourse); social (shared similar outside interests such as sports, food, entertainment, etc.); spiritual (shared experiences in prayer, devotional reading, worship, etc.); and intellectual (a love for books, ideas, history, etc.).
In the same discussion, Jung also clarifies what he means by "power." Actually, he refers not just to power but "the will to power." Power in itself is not necessarily bad. It exists always in one of three positions: (1) power under (subordinate to another in one or more ways); (2) power with (a sharing that is mutual, consensual), and (3) power over (dominating, controlling, ruling over another).
In Jung's quote, he is referring to this third position in which he acknowledges the possibility that some people find special pleasure. These people "will" to have power over others, to use it for gratification. This is the "will to power," and where it predominates, there love is lacking.
And it is at just this point that the dam burst, flooding us with the sexual debris from years past. But not just "years;" rather, we must speak in terms of centuries. For patriarchy is old. Males have dominated women since the beginning, except for a few pockets of history and geography in which matriarchy held power.
Even so, the record for male domination over women is carved in the history, the literature, the family customs, and our best institutions of education, government, and religion. The pictures of old, white men dominate the chronicles of present-day life from our politics to our churches, and beyond.
That is why it would be unspeakably tragic if this flood of revelations about the abuse in particular of women at the hands of men (no pun intended there) does not go all the way to the bottom of the sediment in which the foundations of patriarchy are embedded!
Until then, there will be no true intimacy. I find it very interesting that my work with individuals involved in the sub-culture of BDSM have taught me more about true intimacy than any other one source. Their mantra rings true for all spheres of life, and it is this: SAFE, SANE, MUTUAL. On these three principles, all true intimacy rests. "Safe" means one is able to feel secure physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. "Sane" means the persons or institutions involved may be trusted to maintain commitments and to act within a moral frame which all parties have acknowledged as binding. "Mutual" means that each person's voice deserves to be heard and counted. This is a true democracy that makes possible a deep intimacy in which our social contracts may thrive, our children will be safe, each gender will be respected and honored.
In such a society, such a family, such a relationship between men and women, deep intimacy grows. We will know that when we see it because "love" rules over the will to power -- even in the highest office of our land.
I hesitate to add any further material to the flow of information, the bawdy revelations, the incriminating accusations, admissions, denials, confessions, careers worked away, ethics investigations, and more. So I will be brief in adding something that has repeatedly come to mind as I hear stories such as these in my consulting room. This has to do with he relationship of love and power. Carl Jung stated the matter quite precisely like this:
Where love rules, there is no rule to power; and where power predominates,
there love is lacking. (Collected Works, VII, par. 78)
Let me clarify a little. It may seem that the accusations having to do with groping, stalking, touching inappropriately, displays of nudity have little to do with "love" but a lot to do with bullying and domination in pursuit of some deviant sexual gratification. What, then, does "love" have to do with the matter?
In a fuller development of his statement, Jung clarifies his use of "love" to mean something like an intimacy based upon a mutual feeling of closeness. This "closeness" may occur in one or more of several dimensions of our life: physical, (possibly moving from a first attraction to the consummation of intercourse); social (shared similar outside interests such as sports, food, entertainment, etc.); spiritual (shared experiences in prayer, devotional reading, worship, etc.); and intellectual (a love for books, ideas, history, etc.).
In the same discussion, Jung also clarifies what he means by "power." Actually, he refers not just to power but "the will to power." Power in itself is not necessarily bad. It exists always in one of three positions: (1) power under (subordinate to another in one or more ways); (2) power with (a sharing that is mutual, consensual), and (3) power over (dominating, controlling, ruling over another).
In Jung's quote, he is referring to this third position in which he acknowledges the possibility that some people find special pleasure. These people "will" to have power over others, to use it for gratification. This is the "will to power," and where it predominates, there love is lacking.
And it is at just this point that the dam burst, flooding us with the sexual debris from years past. But not just "years;" rather, we must speak in terms of centuries. For patriarchy is old. Males have dominated women since the beginning, except for a few pockets of history and geography in which matriarchy held power.
Even so, the record for male domination over women is carved in the history, the literature, the family customs, and our best institutions of education, government, and religion. The pictures of old, white men dominate the chronicles of present-day life from our politics to our churches, and beyond.
That is why it would be unspeakably tragic if this flood of revelations about the abuse in particular of women at the hands of men (no pun intended there) does not go all the way to the bottom of the sediment in which the foundations of patriarchy are embedded!
Until then, there will be no true intimacy. I find it very interesting that my work with individuals involved in the sub-culture of BDSM have taught me more about true intimacy than any other one source. Their mantra rings true for all spheres of life, and it is this: SAFE, SANE, MUTUAL. On these three principles, all true intimacy rests. "Safe" means one is able to feel secure physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. "Sane" means the persons or institutions involved may be trusted to maintain commitments and to act within a moral frame which all parties have acknowledged as binding. "Mutual" means that each person's voice deserves to be heard and counted. This is a true democracy that makes possible a deep intimacy in which our social contracts may thrive, our children will be safe, each gender will be respected and honored.
In such a society, such a family, such a relationship between men and women, deep intimacy grows. We will know that when we see it because "love" rules over the will to power -- even in the highest office of our land.
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