• Home
  • Biography
  • Services
  • Links & Resources
  • Blog
  • Contact
 

SUGGESTIONS TO LIVE A BETTER LIFE?                     Musings While on Vacation

8/29/2016

0 Comments

 

​Forgive me for carrying on about this mental health thing, as if I cannot turn it loose. Perhaps it is the ugliness of this time in which we are living, reflected in the sordid politics of would-be leaders who flash the disturbing behaviors of personality disorders, ethical malfeasance, xenophobia, materialistic greed, obsessions with power, grandiose expectations of entitlement, a failure to show any signs of a capacity for empathy and fair play, etc. -- perhaps it is the spirit of our celebrity-driven age that hangs over my recent blogs.

In any case, last month I attempted to break out of the heaviness by describing the four-legged stool of mental health, a balanced life of work, play, spirituality, and shared affection. Soon after finishing that blog, I was amused by a post in The New York Times, "15 Ways to Be a Better Person," with the aim being to suggest tips for "improving your existence," by following this "guide to living your best life." (August 17, 2016)  The editor, Anya Strzemien, acknowledged that these "timeless tips" were first published on December 30, 2015, an appropriate time to inspire those of us who need prodding to get creative with our list of New Year's Resolutions!

But vacation time has always been an even more likely time for me to compose such a list. And sure enough, this "guide" fell on the screen of my laptop as I enjoyed some vacation time on Cape Cod. The Cape has always pulled me back to something deep and timeless, inspiring me to want to live a better life. How is that for synchronicity? That such a topic wound its way through the labyrinthian corridors of cyber space to my computer window just as I was reflecting on the meaning of my existence while looking at that haunting, wind-caressed beach of the outer cape?

Now, a little warning is in order here. Don't expect these "tips" to go too deep. Remember, they are vacation tips, OK?  And because it was a gift, of sorts, from The New York Times and Anya Strzemien, I am going to pass the gift along to you, not without a few of my own personal comments, of course. Here is the guide to living your best life, followed by my observations -- strictly mine, not those of the editor or the paper.

1.   Wear comfortable underwear.
Be warned however, before you burn your Victoria's Secret credit card and rush out to the lingerie department of Walmart or Target, you might consider how this tip impacts #'s 6, 11, and 12.

2.   Drink coffee.
Yes, it is a psychoactive drug with antioxidant properties, and it gets us going in the mornings. However, for those of us who might become a little hyped or jittery, think of how difficult the caffeine rush might make the tip below, number 3.

3.   Stare into the eyes of someone you love (or want to love) for exactly four minutes.
Four minutes exactly! I have not timed this one yet, hesitating to interrupt my wife's reading of her murder mystery with my less-than-confident proposal that we further the reaches of science with this experiment.

4.   Don't ghost.
That means not to drop out of the life of someone you cannot stand, with no word of your planned disappearance. I gather we are to break the news to them over a period of random, unavoidable encounters.

5.   Be nice to babies.
And pray you do not have to sit beside one in your five-hour bicoastal endurance
airplane ride, in which case this tip really means to be nice to the haggard mother, should fate bring you together in that exercise of air industry torture.

6.   Dress in a way that makes you feel powerful.
Mark Twain said it best: "Clothes make the man [and woman]. Naked people have little or no influence on society." 

7.   If you divorce, play nice.
(And make sure your "x" reads and signs off on this tip.)

8.   Toss the cigarettes.
We are still having to be told this?!!

9.   Get a pet.
Sheba, our "most-wonderful-cat-in-the-world," of 16 years, gives this one a two-toes up affirmation.

10.  Take on a seemingly impossible task.
What it feels like each time we go to visit the in-laws for what is supposed to be a happy holiday gathering. 

11.  ​If you would like to keep your marriage together, stick it out.
I found it interesting that this tip immediately precedes the one below!

12.  Put sex first.
I found it interesting that this tip immediately follows the one above!

13.  Make sure you are the boss of your electronic devices.
As if the in-law challenge is not sufficient, this one surely qualifies for tip number 10.

14.  ​Relish the phrase, "I'm too old for this."
Surely whoever dreamed up this tip must be a twenty-something! Anyone of any mature age is daily reminded by everyone and everything in society that they are not "normal," that they would do the younger "normal" people a favor by using their meager life-holdings to buy a one-way ticket to some remote outpost on Shemya Island where they would not take up useful jobs or resources -- also where they would not have to worry about parallel parking and finding their lost car keys.

15.  Be generous to those who have helped you.
Or, as I was saying above in number 14, surely there is place for all of us where we
will not dismiss ourselves, or be dismissed by the phrase, "I'm too old for this." Pulease...!!!

Well, there you have it -- fifteen "tips to help you live a better life." But here we see the problem, do we not?  A "better life" is not the same as "an authentic life," which is why you probably asked yourself if something is not missing as you followed along the list.

Of course there is something missing. There is no mention of a spiritual life, no mention of how we deal with our irrational fears, or deep hatreds, or anxieties about the state of the declining standard of living for the middle class, or the despair of the poorest of the poor, or the degrading banality of politics, the wasteland of our television offerings, the absence of safety for our children, etc.

In other words, any tips for "living a better life," if that life is to be authentic, must help us deal with the shadow side of life, the warnings our dreams bring to us each night, the glimpses into our unconscious life that analysis brings, and the portrayal of a moral center that a spiritual consciousness offers. Without these, we are left with the posturing of an adult whose ego-driven personality has regressed to the vacuousness of a celebrity-seeking society.



0 Comments

    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    March 2011

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

  • Email: randallmishoe@mac.com
  • Tel: 704-344-1100