What are your plans for the holidays? Our schedules fill up quickly this time of year. Here at our house, my wife and I still have pumpkins on the front steps. We must look like zombies as we stare at our calendars jammed not only with our work responsibilities but all the other gatherings that usher in the holiday season between Thanksgiving and New Years, including visits by the children with stories from the west coast.
This is not the best time of the year to think about the "goals of a lifetime," you may be thinking. More like it to deal with today and what we might attend to over the weekend. Perhaps sometime after the Super Bowl, perhaps then we might consider the topic, vague enough as it is.
But is it really vague? And is it really best to wait another 2 or 3 months? After all, this is your lifetime, the days pass quickly, and the times compel us to consider: What is going on in the world just now? Who let all the creepy-crawlies out of the box? Is a nuclear attack something we really need to worry about again? Is our democracy taken for granted? What brings up the threat of our safety to the point that some of our citizens do not feel safe to venture outside their homes lest they be attacked and carried to God-knows-where by hooded assailants? Why do so many people not have opportunity to own homes, save money, send children to college? And why are our universities under attack? Why do we have less confidence in our government than we did 20 or 30 years ago, according to recent polls? Why do we fear immigrants? Why do we not marshall together all the many resources we have to create a world of peace, liberty, and pursuit of happiness for our society? Why?
My answer depends upon a distinction I make between "desire" and "goal." Think about it. A desire comes more quickly to mind than a goal. Desires appear in several spheres of our life: physical longings, intellectual curiosity, sexual turn-ons, economic pursuits to consume, manipulate, and appear better, richer, more attractive, more admired than others.
And why do the media feed this frenzy while many who call themselves religious join in the chorus to hail some self-appointed savior with aspirations to reign as a king? But, for that matter, where have our education institutions failed to educate us concerning the possible character flaws that can consume the human personality? Have we not learned enough from history to recognize those abysmal human flaws that poison the human personality with traits of narcissism, anti-social (sociopathic) dominance, authoritarianism, xenophobia, racism, and nationalism?
While I am on it, let's look together at what happens to us when the goal of a lifetime becomes inflated with narcissistic, sociopathic pathologies. What are those pathologies? Here's a definition and a list:
NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER
A pervasive patten of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration,
and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of
contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
(1) has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achieve-
ments and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without
commensurate achievements)
(2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance,
beauty, or ideal love
(3) believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be under-
stood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people
(or institutions)
(4) requires excessive admiration
(5) has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially
favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
(6) is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve
his or her own ends
(7) lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and
needs of others
(8) is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
(9) shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
(Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Vol. IV; See also Vol. V)
ANTISOCIAL PERSONALITY DISORDER
(Formerly SOCIOPATHIC PERSONALITY DISORDER)
A. There is a pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others
occurring since age 15 years, as indicated by three (or more) of the following:
(1) failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as
indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest
(2) deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning
others for personal profit or pleasure
(3) impulsivity or failure to plan ahead
(4) irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights
or assaults
(5) reckless disregard for safety of self or others
(6) consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain
consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations
(7) lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing
having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another
B. The individual is at least age 18 years.
C. There is evidence of Conduct Disorder... with onset before age 15 yrs.
D. The occurrence of antisocial behavior is not exclusively during the course of
Schizophrenia or a Manic Episode.
(Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Vol. IV; See also Vol. V)
Please pardon the detailed attempt to consider these unfavorable characteristics of disordered human behavior. When we think about these disorders, we may even feel surprised at how often we have observed them without realizing that they are, indeed, disorders that can be quite troubling for our society. Thankfully, most of us can claim neighbors and public officials who uphold the highest standards of behavior, for whom the goal of a lifetime is not compromised by the behaviors described above. However, and unfortunately, there re occasional exceptions, and in some cases prominent, public figures who appear with self-serving, reckless ambition and disregard for the common welfare. It is likely that we point to such historical characters as Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini to identify individuals whose "goal of a lifetime" violated the common sense and decency of nations.
With that said, I return to the topic of this writing to ask you, what is the goal of your lifetime? It is no small matter to honor our too-brief lifetimes with the best we have to offer. And, by the way, as Jung pointed out, it is not the end result that matters so much as is the "trying." Or, as Jung expressed the matter:
The goal is important only as an idea;
the central thing is the opus [work] which leads to the goal:
that is the goal of a lifetime.
(Collected Works, Vol. 16, paragraph 400)
This is not the best time of the year to think about the "goals of a lifetime," you may be thinking. More like it to deal with today and what we might attend to over the weekend. Perhaps sometime after the Super Bowl, perhaps then we might consider the topic, vague enough as it is.
But is it really vague? And is it really best to wait another 2 or 3 months? After all, this is your lifetime, the days pass quickly, and the times compel us to consider: What is going on in the world just now? Who let all the creepy-crawlies out of the box? Is a nuclear attack something we really need to worry about again? Is our democracy taken for granted? What brings up the threat of our safety to the point that some of our citizens do not feel safe to venture outside their homes lest they be attacked and carried to God-knows-where by hooded assailants? Why do so many people not have opportunity to own homes, save money, send children to college? And why are our universities under attack? Why do we have less confidence in our government than we did 20 or 30 years ago, according to recent polls? Why do we fear immigrants? Why do we not marshall together all the many resources we have to create a world of peace, liberty, and pursuit of happiness for our society? Why?
My answer depends upon a distinction I make between "desire" and "goal." Think about it. A desire comes more quickly to mind than a goal. Desires appear in several spheres of our life: physical longings, intellectual curiosity, sexual turn-ons, economic pursuits to consume, manipulate, and appear better, richer, more attractive, more admired than others.
And why do the media feed this frenzy while many who call themselves religious join in the chorus to hail some self-appointed savior with aspirations to reign as a king? But, for that matter, where have our education institutions failed to educate us concerning the possible character flaws that can consume the human personality? Have we not learned enough from history to recognize those abysmal human flaws that poison the human personality with traits of narcissism, anti-social (sociopathic) dominance, authoritarianism, xenophobia, racism, and nationalism?
While I am on it, let's look together at what happens to us when the goal of a lifetime becomes inflated with narcissistic, sociopathic pathologies. What are those pathologies? Here's a definition and a list:
NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER
A pervasive patten of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration,
and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of
contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
(1) has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achieve-
ments and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without
commensurate achievements)
(2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance,
beauty, or ideal love
(3) believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be under-
stood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people
(or institutions)
(4) requires excessive admiration
(5) has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially
favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
(6) is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve
his or her own ends
(7) lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and
needs of others
(8) is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
(9) shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
(Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Vol. IV; See also Vol. V)
ANTISOCIAL PERSONALITY DISORDER
(Formerly SOCIOPATHIC PERSONALITY DISORDER)
A. There is a pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others
occurring since age 15 years, as indicated by three (or more) of the following:
(1) failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as
indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest
(2) deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning
others for personal profit or pleasure
(3) impulsivity or failure to plan ahead
(4) irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights
or assaults
(5) reckless disregard for safety of self or others
(6) consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain
consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations
(7) lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing
having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another
B. The individual is at least age 18 years.
C. There is evidence of Conduct Disorder... with onset before age 15 yrs.
D. The occurrence of antisocial behavior is not exclusively during the course of
Schizophrenia or a Manic Episode.
(Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Vol. IV; See also Vol. V)
Please pardon the detailed attempt to consider these unfavorable characteristics of disordered human behavior. When we think about these disorders, we may even feel surprised at how often we have observed them without realizing that they are, indeed, disorders that can be quite troubling for our society. Thankfully, most of us can claim neighbors and public officials who uphold the highest standards of behavior, for whom the goal of a lifetime is not compromised by the behaviors described above. However, and unfortunately, there re occasional exceptions, and in some cases prominent, public figures who appear with self-serving, reckless ambition and disregard for the common welfare. It is likely that we point to such historical characters as Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini to identify individuals whose "goal of a lifetime" violated the common sense and decency of nations.
With that said, I return to the topic of this writing to ask you, what is the goal of your lifetime? It is no small matter to honor our too-brief lifetimes with the best we have to offer. And, by the way, as Jung pointed out, it is not the end result that matters so much as is the "trying." Or, as Jung expressed the matter:
The goal is important only as an idea;
the central thing is the opus [work] which leads to the goal:
that is the goal of a lifetime.
(Collected Works, Vol. 16, paragraph 400)
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